My friend Deb just sent this to me from last week's brunch. I just love it. I love my girl.
And here are some videos from yesterday. She is either jumping or singing Bob Marley's "One Love." In case you don't know the words, it goes, "One love, one heart, let's get together and feel alright." And she is coming ever-closer to reciting this entire chorus clearly. She adores this book and we are now a home that plays Bob Marley more than any college student ever has!
Slippered-feet pitter-pattered down the hallway yesterday at 7:45am. It had been a rough night for all of us. Nora is welcoming the arrival of her two-year molars...and they are causing quite the ruckus. She was up with screams and moans and wiggles every 1-2 hours all night long...I watched her on the monitor and waiting with baited breath for a few minutes each time to see if she'd fall back asleep or needed comfort. Her 5:00am nursing session was non-negotiable and after rocking her to sleep until 5:30am, I fell into bed exhausted...praying that Daniel would let me sleep in. (But, I mean, it was Mother's Day...so did he really have a choice?)
So, back to those pitter-pattering feet. As the door creaked open, Nora was yammering on about something. As I blinked in the rays of morning light pooling on the bed from the opening curtains...I caught her message, "Happy Mama's Day" she chirped over and over and over as she grasped at the comforter to pull herself up upon the bed. What a mountain of changes have passed since last year's holiday to moms!
Mother's Day 2011
My chubby, sparse-haired, one-tooth babbling baby has now become a running, curly-haired, toothy toddler. After opening up some awesome gifts (a new video/photo pocket camera & summer maternity clothes), we enjoyed a beautiful day of blue skies and whipping winds down at Sunset Beach and then an evening at my mom's house.
Nora was completely unamused by a windy beach or water that had loud and frothy waves licking at her toes. It was not the "beach" of her recent memory down at the penninsula in Long Beach...the one with warm sand, no waves, and a gentle slope into the water that allows her to play up to her neck in the salty pool. She protested often and LOUDLY...and finally, she cracked us up so much with her misery, that we packed up and headed home for lunch. Thanking our lucky stars for the beans and rice we had on hand. If you are looking to warm Lulu's heart, it's currently all about the Spanish rice and pinto beans...a veritable bucket of salt (although I rinse the beans vigorously). She gobbles this concoction down and howls for it daily.
Here are some of the best pics of the day...and some videos from this year and last year.
Making castles with her dad.
Even little Smüdgie felt the warmth of the sun.
Me and my 22 week-old sweet pea.
Snuggles in the cold wind...complete with my unrubbed mineral-sunblock (Hello, Daniel! Can you help a woman out?)
Investigating the sand between her toes. She is obsessed with getting rid of any foreign debris in her toes and on her hands lately.
Her cheesy grin. A new talent has arisen.
Her grin a year ago.
One slightly-buried foot, one ruby-painted foot, and the tiniest one freaking out that it might get gritty.
Caught a picture with my step-dad, John. A bbq in their gorgeous back yard to end the day!
Video Mania
The Day begins with a coached "excited face," "Happy Mama's Day!" and "I love you!"...but you can hear her sweet voice, coached or not! (Please ignore my just-woke-up hair...the cute factor overrode my vanity.)Beach meltdown:
A year ago: Time is flying!
It rained on Friday. Almost the entire day. So a few hours into our wet morning, popcorn was calling my name. I considered putting Nora down for her nap prior to my air-popping adventure; however, the excitement of sharing it with her was too alluring. So out came the air popper with its domed lid (gone are my childhood memories of golden domes with a cup on top that even heated the butter). We gathered the kernels, the pepper, the salt, and the olive oil. Nora poured in the first few noisy kernels and quickly got scared. I finished the job, put the lid on and plugged in the magic. Lulu was nervous but as the kernels flew out as white puffed clouds, she was captivated. We both smiled as we crunched on the hot crunchy pearls and watched the bowl fill. The spicing and shaking was a big hit.
Then it was time to grab our bowls, fill them up, put them on our laps, and snuggle on the couch. She crunched hers and I crunched mine. And as the kernels dissappeared (in our mouths and in the cracks of the sofa), soon only seeds and miniscule flecks of white were left. And then it happened. The moment that I would forever savor.
Out of the corner of my eye I caught Nora with her pointer finger at the bottom of her bowl trying to pick up the tiny flecks. I was doing the same exact thing. She only needed the tip...to lick your fingertip. I showed her how to lick and then hunt down the spicy remnants. We each giggled and hunted and licked until only crunchy seeds were left. It was such fun. A grown-up moment between my daughter and I. Nothing special, I suppose. But our first popcorn...and her listening and copying of my actions is becoming ever-more amazing. It's like her brain at this 19 months of age is a magnificent sponge. You can see the wheels turning wildly as she locks eyes with you and listens to what you say. And she repeats...everything. The good and the bad.
For some reason, when I say "shit" instead of "shibbles," she always repeats the scathing version but seems to dismiss the silly "teacher" substitue as lacking flare. She knows which words will make me blush when she repeats them at a dinner party.
We spent our rainy afternoon with some crayon fun.
Our gorgeous weekend also had Nora scampering off for her first solo-play in her bedroom with Veronica. Claire and Greg came over and it was so refreshing to have ample adult-talking time while our two big girls played on their own. Walking hand-in-hand down the hall to find their own space.
Claire and I with our gorgeous baby bumps.
The week also had dear friends from way back joining us for stories and Chinese take-out and laughter. It is such a joy to finally snag a moment to be with Janette and Daniela and our kids together. Women whose professional influence and personal support have uplifted and inspired me for years.
And why not end with videos of Nora reading a story and swinging with her dad. I swear she's going to look back at her childhood videos and photos and wonder where I am. I have to find a way to get Daniel behind the lens a bit more.
What a luscious time of year. A sweet nectar of orange blossoms perfumes our back yard...despite the knee-high blades of grass that await their first mow. Birds tweet and twitter along the electric lines. Feral gates skirt across the aged wooden fence. Birch leaves shimmer in the light breeze.
All while Nora screams.
She does not want to nap.
I want her to nap.
You will know by the length of this post who persevered. She's a clever bee. Switching from a steady shriek of "MAMA!" to "DADA!"
Honey, he's far far away. At his desk. Enjoying a cup of coffee, perhaps online shopping for lawn mower accessories, listening to Pandora through his head phones. Smiling and tapping his feet...I think he's even spinning in his desk chair as he hums. Yes, my child, this is what your father does when he's away from us. He can not help you. Give in to sleep.
Although he did join you in your crib today since you protested leaving. Which made the sun shine a million times brighter upon my morning. How could walking into this scene not make you smile?
*My above imaginary conversation worked, by the way. Silence has drifted down the hall.
And besides frolicking in the crib with her dad, Nora has also had other adventures in the past few weeks worth some words and some photos.
There was a glorious mid-week afternoon that beckoned for Nora and I to take my mom to the beach. "Nona," as she is lovingly cooed, was a true sport.
Cinching her cinnamon hoodie around her face as the wind whipped across the sand and Nora tossed salt water and sand and wet globs across our toes. These women are so precious to me. My mom and my daughter.
And as I watched Nora gallop towards the water's edge, the pier stretching out into the sea, my mother's laughter...my heart swelled. I am conscious of my fortune.
It's safe to say that Lulu loved her seaside afternoon.
And us big girls loved it, too.
In some situations the most you can offer is to hold someones hand. Hope they feel your love. Assure them that you will be there.
There have also been Springtime celebrations and fashions. Daniel's sister, Annalisa, sent the most precious Peruvian fair-trade handstitched spring dresses to Nora. They arrived the day before I was heading to a park to take some pictures with my friend Lisa.
As I've made quite clear, I am fiercely against the "princessification" of my daughter and girls in society today. The prevailing fashion often creates, feeds, stokes this notion of the beautiful creature in need of adoration of her physicality and inability to fend for herself or pursue the world of ideas. Thus, the dresses and shoes and crowns that glitter in stores never find their way onto my daughter.
I am not naive...it is quite possible that Nora will one day pine for Disney and Barbie crap. We will approach each pink and rhinestone tantrum on a case-by-case basis. But for now...Daniel and I, united in our revolt, are able to easily control her clothing. Pink/princess stuff simply disappears.
Annalisa understands this perfectly...and always has. Her clothing gifts always respect our philosophy and yet, still allow Nora to be a little girl.
Here's a sneak peek into the Rancho Los Alamitos photoshoot of Lulu Bell. I am harboring the best pics until I can send them out via snail mail...otherwise some beloved people will post them and print them before I've even licked my stamps! (And you know who you are!)
In addition to plastic eggs, I also wanted to share with Nora my fond memories of dying eggs for the Easter holiday. There are so many treasured childhood memories...boiled eggs bathing in glass bowls, green grass spilling from candy-filled baskets, biting the ears off of chocolate bunnies, racing my brother through the tall grass to hunt for hidden eggs, eating sticky sweet rolls for breakfast and braided bread at dinner.
At 18 months, Nora will not yet experience the bulk of these moments...but the egg-dying I wanted to offer with a twist. A "Martha-Stewart" all-natural dye twist. I rolled up my sleeves and dove straight into the boiling of 30+ eggs, the preparation of my natural dyes, and the excitement of having some of our favorite moms and toddlers over to play.
My dyes consisted of all the following with a splash of vinegar:
Behold the beautiful final products!
Nora's special egg.
The dying-party is ready to begin.
Nora and Ruby hanging out.
Shane wielding his crayon with prowess.
Kathy performing the "toddler shove" to encourage eating of what you know they will like (in this case a gingerbread muffin).
Ruby showing off her artistic prowess in the form of crayon-drawing.
Lulu and I had fun, too.
I wonder where on earth Ruby gets her creativity from? (Her mom, Carrie's, beautiful Easter Bunny). Carrie also wrote about this fun day on her fabulous blog.
The gang then gathered again in the afternoon to harvest the eggs from the SIX HOUR dying process (all-natural has it's cons).
Deb's antics thrill Zach and leaves Nora a little nervous.
Ollie is leary of Leo the Lion.
Aaron, Zach, Ruby and Nora flit about.
The rustic beauties going home.
Well, the day has come. Time to spread the news to the very few of you left that might still check this blog. I suppose this forum is also a space for me to weave my thoughts into a tapestry that as time passes, can be revisited to rekindle the details of my journey.
A journey that has take a beautiful...and suprising...turn.
Back in mid-January, I awoke obscenely early. The house was cast in a dark quiet solitude and instead of falling back to sleep in immense gratitude for Nora's slumber, I was restless. Six days had passed since my period was expected. But no big deal. Things have been unpredictable since restarting this fun part of womanhood.
I certainly was not pregnant.
No, I was not.
So, might as well take a pregnancy test to confirm it...then I could go back to sleep.
***********************
I sat there with the stick on the bathtub's edge. The first line zoomed up on the screen. First line means that you took the test properly...but there's no pregnancy.
But, what's this? Why is that second line appearing? It is so dark and pink and really there.
Wow. Stunned.
I went from "there's no way" to "there's a baby" in a matter of seconds. This was not like the first pregnancy, Daniel and I hovering over the bathroom counter. Holding hands. Squealing with excitement at the results. Hugging and jumping and sheer wonder.
This was 4:30 in the morning. I was alone. A toddler and husband and cats fast asleep.
So, I walked lightly with my magic stick back to the bedroom. I slid under the still-warm covers. I tried to still my mind and stem the flow of exploding thoughts inside my mind. My heart beat quick. My breath was shallow. For these brief dark minutes, there was a secret...a quiet and amazing secret that I carried a life within me. That another tiny baby was busy splitting cells as I stared with enormous eyes up at the ceiling.
As the hour neared 5:00, Nora began to stir. Her adorable head-lifting-followed-by-belly-flopping into her crib began. Tiny murmurs of "Mama, Mommy" spilled from the monitor. I entered her room and scooped her into my arms. Her head falling into the crook of my neck. Her whispery voice eschewing a honey-sweet, "Hallo, Mama."
We snuggled together to nurse back under the flannel sheets and winter blankets. Daniel still slept beside us. I was still in shock. But couldn't stop a grin from lining my face.
At 5:45am, unable to hold my secret a second longer, I handed Nora the magic stick with the two lines. I whispered for her to give it to Dada. She promptly sat up, rolled over, and began prodding him with the stick. In the murky shadows of dawn, Daniel blinked and exhaled and furrowed his brow at the intruding plastic stick prodding his chest.
And then...there it was. Recognition. He took the stick, turned on the bedside lamp, and soaked in the meaning of the two lines. One. Two. Consulting the side of the stick for the key. Two = Pregnant.
He smiled, he gasped, he hugged Nora and I close. Then we sat in silence and in shock. Nora waved the stick and babbled happily in her footie pajamas.
We would become a family of four. What a new journey, indeed.
And here's the first ultrasound photo...one that only a parent could love.
And this weekend's belly shot.
I can't believe at 14 weeks there's already a belly to be seen. If Nora was 9 lbs, and popped out at 20 weeks, I wonder just how lovely this little Smüdge will grow?
By the way, we call this baby "Smüdge"...allow me to help with pronunciation...think "smudge" but then soften that "u" to a gentle "oo." If you speak German, it will be a piece of cake..or if you can speak with a deep Southern drawl. But don't even THINK about calling the baby "Smudge" if you can't manage the "oo" sound. Our sweet baby is not the negative connotation of a smudge...in any way. Just like Nora was never a nugget but "Nuglett."
Valentine's Day is fast approaching. A party of toddlers and favorite moms awaits tomorrow afternoon...a guarantee of sugary treats and lemonade dressed up as a cocktail...with women who are quickly becoming dear friends.
The romance department also holds big things for Daniel and I. Tomorrow night the stage will be set for some intense...drum roll, please...packing! We are flying off to my beloved Evergreen State for much needed R & R with just our little family and then loads of friends and family, too. The best of both worlds!
You see, since having Nora, we have spent every single day of Daniel's vacation with family...not a single night on our own since our "babymoon" in Mexico (April 2010)...that's almost two years ago (yes, I'm counting). So, this time, for a few precious days, it is just the three of us, nestling into our own groove...running around in our underwear.
*Now don't get me wrong, our families are incredible...but I am a traveler at heart...prior to marriage and baby, I used my passport every single vacation from teaching. Visiting my parents, as much as I love them, never was or ever will be a "vacation." I feel hollow without the thrill of travel. My new married passport is naked of stamps...my restless soul aches for adventure and cobblestone paths and sidewalk cafes and foreign tongues. So, Seattle can luckily serve up a mellow dose of what I crave...and they just signed gay marriage into law (so even more reason to celebrate).
We're both excited to pitch the pac-n-play in our Seattle apartment and frolic about with reckless abandon. Yes, that means I don't have to wear a bra and and we can watch oodles of cable-tv once Nora's asleep. We are a wild and crazy pair of love birds.
In the meantime, here are some of our latest adventures.
We hosted our first Superbowl Party with Nora's pals, Ruby & Noah...and their fabulous parents, of course. 5 of the 6 adults in attendance just wanted to eat and watch commercials...so it made for a relaxing afternoon watching the toddlers, snacking, and ignoring football.
Fun in her dad's fedora.
Pulling her doll around in a wagon. (Thanks, Vera, the doll is a huge hit around here.)
Riding her new tricycle.
Playing at the aquarium with Zach and Shane. (Fish, schmish...the best part of the excursion is playing on the sidewalk and railing.)
Petting rays.
Enjoying the carousel and hang time at the park.
Our little monkey.
By the 5th time, she loosened up a bit.
At first, a very contemplative rider.
The only sounds I hear are those of birds squawking overhead and Sophie's id tag clanging against her food dish. Nora is spending time with her Nona. These visits supply my mom with ample cuddles, new words, and Lulu's latest dance moves...while I tend to crawl in bed for a nap, clean the house, or run the endless errand. I try with an occasional gift card for Trader Joes or movie tickets or photos to say "thank you" for this gift of free time...but in the end, I suppose we all come out winners...and the small gifts will keep coming, too!
This past weekend was glorious. One of those "do-no-ever-forget-this time" weekends. Daniel and I both laughed as we sat upon a picnic blanket at the park, watching Nora run behind a big tree and "surprise" us on the other side. We both blinked the scene in as she chuckled and we laughed and the air was warm and the breeze was gentle.
Then there was our beach day. A hot Sunday that beckoned for an ice-cream cone filled with homemade tiramasu gelato. Nora's first...and surely, one of many to come. She loved sharing licks with Daniel and I and was quite pissed when we gobbled up the last pointy tip of cone.
As the sun set on the horizon, the waves lapped up on the shore of Seal Beach, and Daniel pointed out something to his girl. I thought this picture was lovely.
The loves of my life.
My happy feet in the (freezing cold) sand.
Our ray of sunshine.
Lulu Bell has a new game where she approaches me with her cheeks puffed out with air. She's asking me to puff up my cheeks and then blow air and kisses into her neck and sides...which she readily opens. I gladly comply. So here she is opening up the side of her neck for the onslaught...I'm inhaling.
And the wondrous exhale, full of twisting, giggles, and absolute joy.
Mmmm, I love this little girl.
