I had these grand ideas for today. The LA opera is selling loads of costumes: elegant royal satin and lace, palry peasants, mostly sized 12-16 for ladies, fancy hats, complete outfits - for garage sale prices. I envisioned Daniel and I driving downtown, looking for parking using "The Secret," and then diving into costume bins spanning hundreds of epic fashion eras. Not because I've ever been a huge fan of Halloween or opera...but because these particular costumes and the chance to buy a complete era-outfit just sounded like so much fun.
Instead, I'm on the couch, nuzzled beneath a grey furry blanket, the warmth of the laptop on my legs, a cozy hat and green hood covering my head, a tummy rumbling, a throat aching, and occasional moans (just to make sure everyone knows I'm sick). An email just came in from my principal that "one of us" has swine flu and that all the surfaces in our classrooms will be disinfected this weekend. The mystery person will be back on Monday or Tuesday. Do I have the swine flu? One of my students called and asked for homework for the week...due to flu. Now a teacher has it. Is this the cause of my own aches and pains?
I'll wait it out. See tomorrow. My doctor doesn't have the H1N1 shot in yet. They're still waiting.
Our kittens, Max & Sophie, need their first shots. We'll tackle that this week.
How do you avoid your weekends not becoming an "errand-ridden" span of time? It seems that the list just grows all week long, expanding to occupy the majority of at least one day of the weekend. But I've barely seen Daniel all week. Just two hours of "after-work-tired-just-commuted" time and then we do the dishes and go to bed. Saturday and Sunday are to be our haven. Our respite from work and time to have fun. How can we avoid the doldrums of errands, grocery shopping, house cleaning, and kitten care? Maybe we're spacing it out wrong. Maybe we just became far too spoiled with our initial three years of him in graduate school and gorging on unlimited time with eachother. Now we live like most "9-5 'ers" in the concrete LA jungle. A dense maze of freeways that leave us on the cell phone with one another at 5pm...across a distance that's short but time that takes forever...both inching towards our home with NPR on in the background, the cell phone on speaker, and bottles of water on the passenger seats.
This is our adjustment. How to make the reality of a few tired hours each weeknight and a weekend that always passes too quickly feel like enough. To squeeze out of these moments the same quality of discussion and connection and enjoyment that we used to find in the abundance of time we had before. I love being married and I just wish there was more time to be together.
But as I read posts about Miss V or posts about Miss M, I realize that the trajectory of marriage typically finds only less time for one another as you add in the cuddles and sniffles of little ones. I am completely baffled as to what you do once the jobs, commutes, pets, and babies have nestled into your time schedule. If I think I see little of Daniel now, what will happen when the sweet cherubs arrive. With their cocoa eyes, long lashes, and sweet toes?
I guess it all just somehow works out. You adjust to the new reality of the hours you have. I need to be more grateful for the minutes that I'm able to lie in his lap and feel his fingers running through my hair. Sure, it used to be a half an hour...but these minutes are just as precious. I am just as lucky. I should be just as grateful.
