Nora went for her first swim today. Not the mere five inches of water in the bathtub...but the real deal. Our neighbors and friends have a gorgeous sparkling and heated pool. I stalk them on Facebook for any comments that allow me to insert how hot I am, how hot Nora is, and how much I love the water. They always cave and either genuinely or out of pressure invite me over. Today was hysterical. The first post hit the page early in the day. I glimpsed the various replies...lurking, waiting to pounce. Finally, the moment struck. I found the right words. I garnered the, "Come on over" for which I'd been waiting.
And then it was, with superhero-speed, that I shed my clothes and put on my water wear. Noodle was thrown to the ground, squeezed in to a swimming diaper, and donned her new swimsuit. In under four minutes we were ready to go a'knocking on the gate. I knew this seemed odd. To quick. Strange even.
I waited. I explained to Noodle what we were going to do. That swimming and water were two of my favorite things. We remembered fondly my three weekly swim-aerobic classes while I was pregnant. She knew. I was beside myself with excitement. I took this picture to pass the time. (You see? She's in a frenzy to get in that water, too.)
We set our stuff upon the grass. I acted calm, cool, and collected. But my heart was beating fast as I smeared thick baby 50+ sunblock on Noodle's alabaster skin.
My God, my child is pale. Where exactly is Daniel's DNA expression in her skin?
Finally, we approached the stairs and I descended with a relaxed little fish on my hip. Her body glided into the water, her face alit with curiosity, her arms splashing the surface. It was one of those moments where everything is perfect. The warm wind swishing the trees. The glistening sun. The droplets of water beading up on Nora's sunblocked face. Pure joy.
Somehow yesterday and today wove memories so tightly within my motherhood memory that my heart feels full. There are days when other moms talk of going back to work or already are. They talk of adult interactions and purpose and professions and careers. I sometimes feel small. My mind withered. Spinning in the water with Nora today rejuvenated my soul.
I also needed yesterday with the ten minutes that I spent alongside the neighbor's flower bed. Nora was zipping along the sidewalk in her stroller. I was sipping in the warming morning. We passed a shoulder-high flower bed filled with a cacophony of wild flowers. I had no where else to be. There was no reason we couldn't stop. I stepped on the parking brake and unclicked Noodle. I held her high on my hip as we walked the length of the bed. Orange, pink, purple, blue and white flowers trailing, spilling, and jetting all around us. The aromas. The textures. The colors. All of it explained to Nora. She fingered them all. Attempted to eat a few. Managed to lick one. And I was struck by the same feeling as this afternoon. Pure joy.
This is exactly where I am supposed to be.