Zora Travels

Independent Outlook

Waving, kissing, standing alone.  Really?  Can it be that at nine months old, Nora seems to be all grown up.  Sure there are thousands of milestones left to observe; but these initial physical signs of her relating to the world and those that love her, are indeed special.

Here she watches Max and Sophie run into her room after waking from her morning nap.  The serenity of her face and toothy grin that follows always make me smile.

 

 

This past weekend was filled with moments being not only a mom but also an aunt.  A treasured role that I very rarely get to play.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fotos am Freitag: Week 40 - "Inside-Out" Day Poolside

Forty weeks.  My mistletoe baby who once danced, hiccuped, and kicked for forty weeks within me...has now been forty weeks outside of me.  Her "inside-out" day.  She was much quieter then...but much more fun now. 

I'm freshly showered after a sun-soaked-poolside afternoon, Nora slumbers sweetly on the monitor, cats frolic, the timer for the diapers ticks...and the night is still.  It's a big Friday night.  Asleep by 9:00pm is my goal.  Just need to stick the diapers on the hot rinse wash...and it's to bed I go.  Still contemplating whether or not I should eat the leftover slice of pizza which my aunt cruelly sweetly gave me.

Nora and I spent our day aside the familiar pool, fiesta tiles, and palm fronds of my Aunt Pat and Uncle John's today.  Noodle splashed in the brisk water for hours without complaint.  She beat her arms madly.  Reached for june bugs floating on the surface.

 

 

Picked dried plants from the pots.  Snacked on oregano and rosemary...and snuck a few bits of dirt in her cherubim mouth, too. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a splendid day with my girl.  We are at the tail end (I hope) of her teething for a while.  She screams me awake four times a night lately...and naps very little. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wondered about venturing to my aunt's with her sleepy eyes...but as soon as she saw Izzy, and Teta Pat's smile, and Uncle John's spinning wheelchair, all was well in her world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She was fascinated by my uncle's chair.  Watching him zoom through the rooms and around the pool...carrying his pina colada with style.  As soon as I put her down on the floor to roam during dinner, she was slapping the slate floor until she reached his feet.  Pulling herself up to his knees...asking for a ride (as only those eyes and lashes can ask).  Soon, she was pushing his hand off the joystick and trying to steer.  It was her screeches and his laugh that I'll cherish.

She continues to amaze us all with her palate.  In addition to her scrumptious meal last weekend of Korean kale, mushroom salad, and seaweed...she ate mouthfuls tonight of roasted tomatoes, green peppers, onions and garlic.  Particularly fond of the garlic bits and onion slivers.

Hopefully, it washed down the bits of dirt from earlier. 

*You can see it right?  Her pursed lips are the tell-tale sign of dirt eating.  Add in some sunblock and pool water for a perfect mouthful.

 

World on her Shoulders

Play THIS SONG in the background to capture the essence of the whimsical strummings that are my background music as I type this post.  Ali Farka Toure's lilting "Kala" is what signaled our guests to begin sitting down prior to the start of our wedding.  Always a tune that lifts my spirits.

Today the sun cast her first rays upon the mourning of a woman who radiated her own light.  Auntie Dee was known to me only a few short years...but left an indelible impression on my soul.  She illuminated a room.  She hugged me tightly, pushed food upon my plate joyfully, encouraged marital bliss sweetly, spoke of her faith passionately, supported my parenting genuinely, and loved living fervently.  The last time I saw her, she placed her hand upon mine, and said, "Be sweet to him.  Always be sweet." 

Only a day before her death, Daniel and I sat on the front porch at sunset.  Nora asleep...her sound machine whooshing from the monitor.  I asked him which marriages did he admire. Whose relationships would he wish to draw inspiration from for our own?  There were few. 

Both of us could only name a handful of couples.  Nuptial canvases that we appreciated not for their perfection, for all art contains an errant stroke, a drop of paint askew...but because of their beauty from a distance...a steady kindness, selflessness, communication, admirable parenting, consideration of dreams, respect of differences, a love that extends beyond children and manifests in time spent enriching the union of the original duo.  There are many lovers whose public faces belie the turbulence of marriage...but few who bravely expose their discord and genuinely seek to salve wounds the instant they occur.

Amidst the sprinkling of names...discussion of characteristics...and pondering of our own many shortcomings...Auntie Dee and Uncle Fred repeatedly came up.  Such grace, such generosity of words and touch, such dedication to one another.  Their love spoke on its own.

Will Daniel and my name also one day make it on Nora's list?  What will be her childhood impressions of our romantic connection, tensions and subsequent resolutions, words, tones, and ability to speak and to be heard?  Something to think about.  Wanting a marriage that not only nourishes and beautifies our souls...but stirs inspiration within our daughter.

On the day Dee met Nora, our usually stingy-with-smiles-daughter, shot her a megawatt drooly grin.  We all laughed.  Auntie Dee showered Nora with a mixture of sing-song phrases and snuggles.  Noodle knew she was a wonderful soul.  She knew her love; albeit only briefly.  Daniel's easy task will be to remind our family of his Godmother's hands, positive outlook, and kindness.  To make sure that her light shines on.

 

 

This photo is entitled "World on her Shoulders."  One of Nora's favorite games is when I take the fabric world map and billow it high up in the air, letting the colorful cloth fall softly upon her head...her hands stick out...she grasps at Mali, at Laos, at Argentina...whipping it off her head to reveal a now four- toothed grin.  We drape and peek and say the names of these distant lands over and over and over again.

Nothing like a little Caspian Sea around your neck, no?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noodle is quite the mama's helper these days.  When I bring in the mail, she promptly samples it and reports back on texture, ink, and quality.  When I am doing the dishes, she clings to my pant legs and bounces in approval of my skills.  When I am washing her poopy diapers in the toilet, she attempts to double-check my work by grasping at the bucket, plunger, toilet lid, and soiled inserts...as I keep her at bay with my feet. 

When I am folding the laundry, she unfolds it in joyful disapproval of my creases.  Once I have put it away, she takes it back out, encouraging me to properly stack it. *Notice her extreme displeasure with the rate at which the stacked laundry comes out.

I must admit, her "help" makes each domestic duty stretch longer.  But we're a merry team, Lulu Bell, and me.  On the note of "Lulu," Daniel and I took note of all of her nicknames since the pregnancy.  Here they all are in a splendid list of silliness.

Nuglett

Nuggs

Monkey Mouse

Noodle

Noo-Noos

Noodles (pronounced like a mafia wise guy)

Budda Bee--Bee

Buddas Bee-Bees

Buddha

Lulu

Lulu Bell

 

Time to find a swing for my co-captain.  The wind tousling her hair (it's possible...I mean, look at all that hair).

 

 

 

 

 

Fotos am Mittwoch: Week 39 - Swingin' with Dad

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Father's Day Weekend was lovely.  A visit to a local park for time on the swings, hanging on the net, and watching the people pass by.

 

 

A video from last week...hanging out with my girl in the morning.

 

 

She is on the move...zipping around the house and pulling herself up on everything possible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We had a blast at little Shane's birthday!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hanging out with Hamlet's family...look at Ari back there...with that mischevious look in her eye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saying goodbye to my Dad and Carolyn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kisses from Grandpa.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nora now plays shy with a little head tilt.

Craning

There are so many things I want to write here on my outlet, my space, my venting venue...but, alas, anything too truthful or candid or honest about motherhood, marriage, relationships will cause alarm, vexation, worried comments from loved ones.  None of which I want.  Sometimes I want just to talk here.  Not be judged or cause anxiety.  But I don't feel I can.  There are always furrowed brows with such honesty.  This is not the place.  I've learned that if you want your writing to reflect your inner-most feelings...you have to write a secret blog or journal.

So, this space will smile and rarely frown.  I can vent to my dear friends in private...eshewing here the murky emotions and flirting with words that paint the blue skies and brightly-hued butterflies of parenthood. 

My writing feels this dishonesty...flat and empty...but it will bend back towards the light soon.  Every sprout arches and climbs towards the light source.  Craning around corners, clinging to lattice for access.  Unfurling in the sun.

I crane.  I cling. I will unfurl.

Maybe it's all just a matter of sleep.  Or the perpetual lack of it.

 

 

 

 

 

Fotos am Sonntag: Week 38 - One handed

Haven't had a lot to say here lately.  It isn't that I am not thinking of things to write...I just don't find the quiet still time to sit and tap on the keys.  Right now Daniel is clipping his hair, the basketball game is in the background, Nora is sleeping for the night, and a gentle dusk light splatters across my jeans.  It has been a whirlwind week of Claire arriving from Chicago (thus, two beautiful visits to her canyon home), Daniel's family visiting from Vegas, hosting a bbq for friends, birthday celebrations at my mom's, taking care of our neighbor's puppy, and my dad's visit from Washington.  I sit here saturated with the exhausted love that comes from a constant stream of visitors and hugs and cooking and talks and merriment and puppy licks.

At one of Claire's parties, I met a lovely woman (and mom to three kids).  She spoke of the independent spirit in her daughter...who attends a Waldorf school.  She explained a bit of the educational philosphy to Daniel and me.  We both soaked in each detail and I knew we were both on fire about it.  Excited about a notion of imagination and no television or "screen time" and stories and role playing.  We know that if we stay here in the LA area we will face a decision about schools.  To attend a public school ...which we both struggle to embrace.  To attend a private school...which we hope would encourage and support divirsity of religion, culture, sexuality, and creative expression.  To attend a religious school...which would necesitate many home conversations about the role of women and about being open and respectful of all the faiths, family structures, and belief systems of the world.  Regardless, the latter two options require an investment of research and finances.

Alas, there's time for school decisions.  It's only when talking to people from the West Side that you feel pressure with a baby to consider it already.

38 weeks into Nora's life and she's standing one-handed.  Reaching out to everyone with her palm.  Going for the "high-five" that my mom taught her.  It's adorable, really.  I can't believe soon she'll be 40 weeks.  The same number of weeks that I carried her within.  What a mind trip.

Here are some of the best photos from this past week.  Claire also took great pics of Nora and our family here.

 

 

38 week shots

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nora's first little friend, Noah, came for a bbq.  They are starting a band.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel's parents were pretty excited to see Noodle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Showing off her toy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ruffa shines her smile...Nora is amazed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lolos and Lolas lavished some attention on the child.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nora and her Lolas ("grandma" in Kampampangan).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uncle Kenny comes to visit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Showing my dad her favorite toy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dad, Carolyn, and their miracle dog, Buddy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snuggles with Carolyn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Getting closer to bed time...can you see it?

Fotos am Freitag: Week 37 - Standing Tall

Out of words...eye crossing in due to a need for sleep.  But a lovely lovely Friday was had by all. 

Noodle hung out with my mom most of the afternoon.  So grateful for their time together and my resulting time alone.  Oh, to be alone.  It is so so nice at times.

At 8:53 I have ruby-polished toes, a belly full of pasta, and a smile on my face about Claire and family arriving back in California.  Seeing her tomorrow is going to be fabulous! Cuddling with Veronica.  Having Nora meet them all. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*I LOVE this shot below because it shows Lulu's lengthy wisps of hair.  They are just starting to go over her ears (albeit with a bit of cajoling).  Daniel gets such a kick out of lengthening these tiny sprouts and then smoothing it behind her ear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Social Butterflies

Noodle and I have been social butterflies this week.  From the triple-baby roadtrip to the Cuban bakery Porto's or the rambunctious waters of a pool...we have chatted (or grunted) with many friends this week.  It has been lovely to slip into conversations and watch Nora find her way with other babies. 

 

 

 

 

 

She's becoming ever more capable of handling kisses (*shown here from Blake), toy grabs, pinches, and bonks on the head.  She's still pretty serious.  Rarely showing a toothy grin to anyone outside of close family...but she still enjoys herself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The friendships that I'm making have been lifesavers in this new territory of motherhood.  If I didn't have other moms to share this journey with, and I frolicked with Nora all day by myself, walking to the park, running errands, and listening to music...I would go crazy.  Certainly not all of the women in my mommy group would, outside of our mutual child-rearing experience, have come together and formed friendships.  And I'm keenly aware that some of us will differ greatly in our approaches to parenting...but for now, when the drooling cherubs are still small it's not a big deal.

Some of our parenting wishes WHENEVER possible (keep that word "possible" in mind...because the list sounds extreme)...that others might find odd or downright ridiculous.

• Her exposure to television, media, electronics will be minimal.
• The fresh veggies and fruits on the "dirty dozen" list will be organic.
• Meat and seafood consumption will be limited...after a year, when introduced, they should be sustainably farmed, organically fed, and humanely treated.
• Processed sugar, fruit juice, sweets will be introduced after a year and severely limited (I am borderline diabetic, after all, and why should she tempt fate).
• Fast food will be a rarity.
•   Time outdoors will be frequent (including splashing in a bacteria-laden public fountain...but loving it!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• She can take some falls and bumps in the discovery of her physical boundaries and abilities (yes, this means I'm trying really hard not to hover as she crawls and stands and wobbles).
• Pink, princess, glittery, gem-encrusted, sexualized-type of toys, clothing, objects will be rare.
• Respectful, proper, cultural, and age-appropriate manners will be required (for elders, animals, peers, parents, the environment, objects).
• Exposure and a cultivated appreciation of diverse cultures, foods, religions, types of families, sexualities, physical and mental abilities, political beliefs and languages.

Now, I write these things here now because it will be humorous to see if we stick to even half of them. I wrote many months ago, during the pregnancy, about our desire to have a well-behaved child.  Since then, I have realized that so much of their behavior seems pre-programmed.  I've also mentioned before our hypocrisy about many things.  We absolutely do not follow all of the above ideas all of the time...but we try.  "Whenever Possible" is a comfortable motto for us...for me.

Nora, for instance, is a screamer.  Already she has a temper.  She screamed for 10 minutes fresh out the hatch and has embraced that motif since.  She knows exactly what she does and does not like.  I don't think I can enforce the idea of "inside voices" yet.  I am not even sure I'll know when she can follow that expectation.  But I hope I'll know.  And I hope she'll listen. 

My parents were wonderful at modeling and enforcing our manners.  I have a strong "please, thank you" flow.  This has helped in many situations.  I tried hard as a teacher to model and share this philosophy with my students.  Those who entered with a "Hey, give me the stapler!" often left with a "Can you pass the stapler, please?" by the end of the year.  Or at least that's what I choose to remember.

So, can Nora keep her integrity as a strong-willed child and also adopt a courteous way of interacting with others?  I think so.  I hope so.

And why make this crazy list above?  Because it's amusing, it's idealistic...it's the way I approach all new things in my life.  With an idealism that slowly moderates, slowly lessens, slowly ebbs and flows into a natural state that molds into my life.  These things above are what Daniel and I have talked about...and we have no idea what it's like to actually confront these things in the real world of a toddler.  I am not solo in my anti-pink/princess campaign.  I may be more vocal about these things but I'm not dragging Daniel, kicking and screaming, into this thinking.

I know, I know, I know...the fact that I say that we don't want her to have pink/princess toys means that she is almost guaranteed to pine for them so loudly and pitifully that we'll cave and buy her several...in a cloud of buyer's remorse we'll drive through McDonalds for burgers and fries, while Nora watches a DVD of Cinderella in the back seat, we'll finally snuggle her into bed...whispering curses about Sarah Palin and handing her a lollipop before kissing her and her new Barbie goodnight.

 

 

She's probably even dreaming of Barbie tonight...with her anatomically freakish body.  Good thing she looks so cute doing it.

 

A grunting story

Noodle and I shared our most traumatic moment this morning...

I will share the items involved...you can guess the problem -- q-tips & olive oil.

Understand?

It was a sad affair.  My heart hurt.  I questioned every morsel of food that I had given her over the last few days.  Daniel and I read countless pieces of online advice.  Prunes in various forms were employed.  Nothing worked.  She screamed.  She grunted in her sleep.

And so it was...that we greeted the late morning hours with the q-tip solution.  She's liberated.

 

This photo is from our neighbor's bbq on Memorial Day.  Their daughter, "Gloria", is enamored with Nora.  She even went through her room with a fine-tooth comb and removed anything too small for Noodle's curious hands.  Leaving behind just a pile of dolls.  Nora was smitten...super smitten. The two sat sweetly playing while we ate our tacos.  A girlie-girl moment that melted all the adults.

 

At Yesterday's "Global Storytime" in which I lead the merry group of babies on a folktale or two...or sometimes just a splendid rendition of "Old McDonald."

 

 

 

 

 

 

This video from yesterday shows brief glimpses into her struggle.  But she's back on top of the world now.