Social Butterflies

Noodle and I have been social butterflies this week.  From the triple-baby roadtrip to the Cuban bakery Porto's or the rambunctious waters of a pool...we have chatted (or grunted) with many friends this week.  It has been lovely to slip into conversations and watch Nora find her way with other babies. 

 

 

 

 

 

She's becoming ever more capable of handling kisses (*shown here from Blake), toy grabs, pinches, and bonks on the head.  She's still pretty serious.  Rarely showing a toothy grin to anyone outside of close family...but she still enjoys herself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The friendships that I'm making have been lifesavers in this new territory of motherhood.  If I didn't have other moms to share this journey with, and I frolicked with Nora all day by myself, walking to the park, running errands, and listening to music...I would go crazy.  Certainly not all of the women in my mommy group would, outside of our mutual child-rearing experience, have come together and formed friendships.  And I'm keenly aware that some of us will differ greatly in our approaches to parenting...but for now, when the drooling cherubs are still small it's not a big deal.

Some of our parenting wishes WHENEVER possible (keep that word "possible" in mind...because the list sounds extreme)...that others might find odd or downright ridiculous.

• Her exposure to television, media, electronics will be minimal.
• The fresh veggies and fruits on the "dirty dozen" list will be organic.
• Meat and seafood consumption will be limited...after a year, when introduced, they should be sustainably farmed, organically fed, and humanely treated.
• Processed sugar, fruit juice, sweets will be introduced after a year and severely limited (I am borderline diabetic, after all, and why should she tempt fate).
• Fast food will be a rarity.
•   Time outdoors will be frequent (including splashing in a bacteria-laden public fountain...but loving it!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• She can take some falls and bumps in the discovery of her physical boundaries and abilities (yes, this means I'm trying really hard not to hover as she crawls and stands and wobbles).
• Pink, princess, glittery, gem-encrusted, sexualized-type of toys, clothing, objects will be rare.
• Respectful, proper, cultural, and age-appropriate manners will be required (for elders, animals, peers, parents, the environment, objects).
• Exposure and a cultivated appreciation of diverse cultures, foods, religions, types of families, sexualities, physical and mental abilities, political beliefs and languages.

Now, I write these things here now because it will be humorous to see if we stick to even half of them. I wrote many months ago, during the pregnancy, about our desire to have a well-behaved child.  Since then, I have realized that so much of their behavior seems pre-programmed.  I've also mentioned before our hypocrisy about many things.  We absolutely do not follow all of the above ideas all of the time...but we try.  "Whenever Possible" is a comfortable motto for us...for me.

Nora, for instance, is a screamer.  Already she has a temper.  She screamed for 10 minutes fresh out the hatch and has embraced that motif since.  She knows exactly what she does and does not like.  I don't think I can enforce the idea of "inside voices" yet.  I am not even sure I'll know when she can follow that expectation.  But I hope I'll know.  And I hope she'll listen. 

My parents were wonderful at modeling and enforcing our manners.  I have a strong "please, thank you" flow.  This has helped in many situations.  I tried hard as a teacher to model and share this philosophy with my students.  Those who entered with a "Hey, give me the stapler!" often left with a "Can you pass the stapler, please?" by the end of the year.  Or at least that's what I choose to remember.

So, can Nora keep her integrity as a strong-willed child and also adopt a courteous way of interacting with others?  I think so.  I hope so.

And why make this crazy list above?  Because it's amusing, it's idealistic...it's the way I approach all new things in my life.  With an idealism that slowly moderates, slowly lessens, slowly ebbs and flows into a natural state that molds into my life.  These things above are what Daniel and I have talked about...and we have no idea what it's like to actually confront these things in the real world of a toddler.  I am not solo in my anti-pink/princess campaign.  I may be more vocal about these things but I'm not dragging Daniel, kicking and screaming, into this thinking.

I know, I know, I know...the fact that I say that we don't want her to have pink/princess toys means that she is almost guaranteed to pine for them so loudly and pitifully that we'll cave and buy her several...in a cloud of buyer's remorse we'll drive through McDonalds for burgers and fries, while Nora watches a DVD of Cinderella in the back seat, we'll finally snuggle her into bed...whispering curses about Sarah Palin and handing her a lollipop before kissing her and her new Barbie goodnight.

 

 

She's probably even dreaming of Barbie tonight...with her anatomically freakish body.  Good thing she looks so cute doing it.

 

Comments

[Liz]

You know, some things on that list will happen and some won't. She will be a wonderful child either way.

We don't have tv--no cable or satellite--so we have only watched movies with my Sunshine--she loves all the Pixar movies like Cars and Toy Story, etc. So we have been able to avoid the whole Princess thing (even though I own every single one of those movies!). My niece loved all the Princesses but now she's 8 and totally over them. So there's hope!

We like trucks and construction things here but Sunshine still picks a pink dress or pink shoes or pink undies. That's who she is and I love her for it. She know what she wants! It sounds like Nora is the same way.