Play THIS SONG in the background to capture the essence of the whimsical strummings that are my background music as I type this post. Ali Farka Toure's lilting "Kala" is what signaled our guests to begin sitting down prior to the start of our wedding. Always a tune that lifts my spirits.
Today the sun cast her first rays upon the mourning of a woman who radiated her own light. Auntie Dee was known to me only a few short years...but left an indelible impression on my soul. She illuminated a room. She hugged me tightly, pushed food upon my plate joyfully, encouraged marital bliss sweetly, spoke of her faith passionately, supported my parenting genuinely, and loved living fervently. The last time I saw her, she placed her hand upon mine, and said, "Be sweet to him. Always be sweet."
Only a day before her death, Daniel and I sat on the front porch at sunset. Nora asleep...her sound machine whooshing from the monitor. I asked him which marriages did he admire. Whose relationships would he wish to draw inspiration from for our own? There were few.
Both of us could only name a handful of couples. Nuptial canvases that we appreciated not for their perfection, for all art contains an errant stroke, a drop of paint askew...but because of their beauty from a distance...a steady kindness, selflessness, communication, admirable parenting, consideration of dreams, respect of differences, a love that extends beyond children and manifests in time spent enriching the union of the original duo. There are many lovers whose public faces belie the turbulence of marriage...but few who bravely expose their discord and genuinely seek to salve wounds the instant they occur.
Amidst the sprinkling of names...discussion of characteristics...and pondering of our own many shortcomings...Auntie Dee and Uncle Fred repeatedly came up. Such grace, such generosity of words and touch, such dedication to one another. Their love spoke on its own.
Will Daniel and my name also one day make it on Nora's list? What will be her childhood impressions of our romantic connection, tensions and subsequent resolutions, words, tones, and ability to speak and to be heard? Something to think about. Wanting a marriage that not only nourishes and beautifies our souls...but stirs inspiration within our daughter.
On the day Dee met Nora, our usually stingy-with-smiles-daughter, shot her a megawatt drooly grin. We all laughed. Auntie Dee showered Nora with a mixture of sing-song phrases and snuggles. Noodle knew she was a wonderful soul. She knew her love; albeit only briefly. Daniel's easy task will be to remind our family of his Godmother's hands, positive outlook, and kindness. To make sure that her light shines on.
This photo is entitled "World on her Shoulders." One of Nora's favorite games is when I take the fabric world map and billow it high up in the air, letting the colorful cloth fall softly upon her head...her hands stick out...she grasps at Mali, at Laos, at Argentina...whipping it off her head to reveal a now four- toothed grin. We drape and peek and say the names of these distant lands over and over and over again.
Nothing like a little Caspian Sea around your neck, no?
Noodle is quite the mama's helper these days. When I bring in the mail, she promptly samples it and reports back on texture, ink, and quality. When I am doing the dishes, she clings to my pant legs and bounces in approval of my skills. When I am washing her poopy diapers in the toilet, she attempts to double-check my work by grasping at the bucket, plunger, toilet lid, and soiled inserts...as I keep her at bay with my feet.
When I am folding the laundry, she unfolds it in joyful disapproval of my creases. Once I have put it away, she takes it back out, encouraging me to properly stack it. *Notice her extreme displeasure with the rate at which the stacked laundry comes out.
I must admit, her "help" makes each domestic duty stretch longer. But we're a merry team, Lulu Bell, and me. On the note of "Lulu," Daniel and I took note of all of her nicknames since the pregnancy. Here they all are in a splendid list of silliness.
Nuglett
Nuggs
Monkey Mouse
Noodle
Noo-Noos
Noodles (pronounced like a mafia wise guy)
Budda Bee--Bee
Buddas Bee-Bees
Buddha
Lulu
Lulu Bell
Time to find a swing for my co-captain. The wind tousling her hair (it's possible...I mean, look at all that hair).
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