My friend Deb just sent this to me from last week's brunch. I just love it. I love my girl.
And here are some videos from yesterday. She is either jumping or singing Bob Marley's "One Love." In case you don't know the words, it goes, "One love, one heart, let's get together and feel alright." And she is coming ever-closer to reciting this entire chorus clearly. She adores this book and we are now a home that plays Bob Marley more than any college student ever has!
My friend Claire wrote a post recently about her "chosen family" and this has resonated with me this week as I think of the lovely people who have recently visited our home. To many their "family" may only mean those they were raised to love and respect. For me, just like for Claire, my friends are absolutely a huge part of who I consider "family." They are those that I have chosen to link my heart and mind. They spend their time with me, my daughter, my husband to cultivate our friendships and build our bonds. Words and stories and memories are woven. I am absolutely lost without regular contact with the women I call friends.
Nora's life will be filled with all types of "family" and we have been so fortunate lately that our home has been abuzz.
Lorraine and Michael helped to create a memorable "first bbq."
Claire, Greg, and Veronica stopped by for some fajitas and fun. Here V fiddles with both a tambourine and the drum.
Nora sporting her new hair-do, courtesy of her "Nona" (my mom). My mom, by the way, doesn't just do Nora's hair, she has been an AMAZING source of support to allow me some much-needed "me time" lately.
Lulu and I enjoyed our inaugural walk in galloshes. A special moment for me...an`avid lover of the gallosh.
Lisa and Carrie came with their pint-sized Ruby and Ollie to frolic outside after a long rain.
Four generations of my family enjoying the State of the Union speech last night. Nora would clap with the Democrats and even says "Bama, Bama, Bama."
She's trying on Daddy's gloves.
And although I never would have believed it, she actually LOVES drinking kale smoothies. I thought moms were making this up...but if you bury raw kale in the blender with some sort of milk base (we use hemp milk), wee bit of juice, frozen fruit, flax seed, and cottage cheese...she GULPS it down with glee.
Look at those peepers!
We enjoyed a crisp morning at the Nature Center near our house. Ruby and Carrie were our partners-in-crime. Here the girls touch the antlers and skulls on display.
Rock climbing.
This girl will climb any rock she sees.
Ruby's infamous "mad dog" face.
It is a brilliant new year. Southern California remains blissfully warm and winter light splashes against pale blue skies and snow-tickled mountains in the distance. There are days...in our new home...that the mountains can be seen on walks.
We are still unpacking and settling in. It goes painfully slow with an active and needy toddler at my side. And regarding decorating, man is it tough to drive through those first nails. Each hole is considered over a lengthy discussion...and in the end, the art remains piled in or bedroom and we keep the pristine blank walls unscathed.
Nora is seriously smitten with our new 'hood. There are at least 15 kids under the age of 12 that live on our street. A large gaggle of girls and boys play each afternoon outside. Nora was enamored with them since our first walk. But they initially took no interest. I finally had to walk up to them and tell them just how much they excite Lulu. They instantly warmed to her and now they clamor for her attention. When they see us approaching, they run screaming, "Nora, Nora, Nora" and I feel her body electrify with both nerves and glee. She sits with them for an hour...not making a peep...just soaking in their awesomeness (here they teach her how to stir pretend food).
There are horses to ride.
Babies to nurture.
Leopard hats to wear.
Dear friends to visit (and stairs to climb).
Skateparks to observe.
Puddles to jump in (and then quickly realize your feet get wet).
Songs that need dancing (while Daniel wipes up the now daily Max piss).
And most days need a warm bath...as our adventurer continues to love getting dirty. In the video below, she shows off her German (Ich bin sehr stolz an Die...und Herzlichen Willkommen Erica).
When I think back to my early childhood days in the Methow Valley, creativity, freedom, imagination and fun come to mind. There was no television in our house (not because of a parenting-philosophy but due to a lack of reception)...so the hours had to be filled with a lot of solo-play.
I remember spinning tales and worlds and stories for hours with my mother's Readers Digest magazines. Gathering leaves and sticks and stones to block up the trickling Pete's Creek. Running with Sandy (our cockerspaniel) underneath the canopy of pines, crunching fallen needles, looking up into the boughs for wasp nests. Entire afternoons between lunch and dinner spent playing outside...often by myself. Or inside with my pretend kitchen, plastic food, and baby dolls.
These days fed my soul. Sparked my imagination. My childhood was absolutely ideal.
Roaming carefree amidst 30+ acres will never be Nora's experience. Our trees sprout from concrete boxes. Flowers bloom in planters. Dogs walk by on leashes or muzzles. Walks occur on sidewalks. I will never tell her at the age of five or six that she should go outside and play and come back for lunch.
But how can I inspire her to be independent, secure, and confident...despite needing to hover far closer than my mother did?
There has to be a way to bring some creative exploration into her life. A few weeks ago, as I sat thinking about how I could infuse more free-spirited play into our lives, I was pointed in the direction of this website. Granted, these women appear to have unlimited financial resources, a bit too high of a threshold for mess, and much to Daniel's chagrin, seemingly no problem using nutritious food sources for play materials (for instance dozens of eggs cracked into a tub merely for the fun of it).
And since purchasing all the materials necessary for some of these projects seemed daunting, I thought why not create a co-op? A collective of other moms with toddlers who all share a common vision for hostingplaydates and sharing in the cost of materials.
From this initial seed, the ball started rolling...emails and facebook posts were sent, an organizer meeting occurred, and 24 moms are now members of the merry co-op.
Fast forward a few weeks and "Sticky Fingers" is now up and running. Our very first sensory playdate was held on a gorgeous crisp fall afternoon in the park. Super Mom, Natalie, who also scribes her creative mothering blog here, hosted the first playdate.
Nora getting her squish on with mounds of spiced homemade playdough.
Ruby wonders what I'm doing.
Caroline presses out blueberry-flavored playdoughin the garlic press. Amazing!
Carrie snuggles her precious Ruby.
Jennifer making footprints with Liam.
The talented playdough maker, Natalie, and her daughter Olive.
Daniel's mother also joined us at the park. She is a lovely woman of very few words...so not quite sure what she thought of Nora being barefoot in the cool damp grass, stepping in pumpkin-pie scented dough, squeezing out purple hair, and chewing on fallen sticks.
I can only hope she doesn't think I'm too crazy. (She has no idea just how "hippie" I am at heart. How I went barefoot for entire years of high school...feet pitch black from walking, bells tinkling along the hem of my skirt...well, now she knows.)
My desire for Nora to get dirty, messy, and sticky is strong. I adored that aspect of my childhood and I'm excited to pass it on to Lulu Bell.
Loi's visit allowed us to dive head first into the packing adventure. We are only a few weeks away from the big move across town...and I'm a bit overwhelmed with all that lies before us.
But it will all get done and Daniel and I are so fortunate to have his mom and my mom happy to watch Noodle.
Here's Nora making her first hand turkey with my mom. Certainly a keepsake for years to come. Doesn't everyone love a good hand turkey?
So, folks, it's Day 8 of "Operation Green Snot," yet, these hardwood floors are echoing once again with the pitter-patter and excited Noodle trills and shrieks. She's BACK...a wee bit snotty, so still off-limits to her pint-sized amigos, but back to eating, pooping, laughing, and scurrying about
*Did you note the absence of "sleeping" in that list? I know that you did, JeeYoung & Daniela!
Sleep is still an elusive concept for Ms. Saucy. She is back up to some very old tricks...and being totally (and properly) indulged under the protection of "poor sick baby."
Here she is asleep in my arms on Day 5. This hasn't happened since she was 6 weeks old.
Today, she nursed her entire hour nap. I know, I know. Slippery slope.
And it's her lucky day because she is about to be shielded by the visit of her beloved Lola. We shield all our visitors (who sleep only feet away from her door) from Nora's scream-spectacular. Lucky, lucky girl.
But you know what's going to happen in a week? The World Premier of the "Boo Hoo All Night Show." That familiar story arch that's acted out throughout the toddler cribs of America.
And what have we been up to on our eighth painful day of shunning playdates and germ-sharing? Some more stabs at sensory play. Free-form imaginative play where I disconnect from my Facebook/Words with Friends addiction, tune into watching Nora frolic, and allow her to explore and get messy...very messy.
Today started with an epic FAIL on the "Build a Fort" invitation. I covered the couch, coffee table and ottoman with blankets and proceeded to entice my daughter by slithering on my belly, through clumps of cat hair, crushed Cheerios, and grains of kitty litter.
My butt stuck up so high that I kept destroying the fort as I moved through. Every time I would come up sweaty from a tunnel, I would find her staring at me, knitted brows, questioning my sanity. Completely still. Unwilling to climb into the fortress. Confused as to why I was squealing and giggling underneath the blankets.
I felt a bit stupid, disheveled, and coated in cat hair. I set out to find us another activity.
Whilst rifling through the bathroom cupboards, I came across an ancient (certainly toxic) electric blue shaving cream. It would never make it onto our skins...so why not into a sensory tub filled with fluffy cream?
The Invitation:
Sensory Vocabulary:
fluffy, creamy, cold, wet, dry, slippery, rough
And what did Noodle think? Well, the pictures tell the tale. She kept HERSELF amused (with me nearby) for 51 minutes (yes, I noted the time on the photos). This was fabulous...for both of us. Our minds and imaginations went wild. We were outside on a warm fall day.
"Hmmm, what's this stuff?"
"Cool, slimy golf ball and a cold ice cube."
"Look, Dad, doesn't this look fun?"
"I think I'll paint my feet."
"Mom, you need some, too."
Focus. Focus. Focus.
"Excuse me, I'm playing here."
And look, John, you would be proud. A petite painter who always washes her brushes!
This photo is for Grandpa John & Grandpa Steve. The painter and the golfer.
Not so fun when I brought her inside for a warm bath.
*Look closely, there are some glistening tears involved.
It was heaven. Pure joy, laughter, bonding, and fun.
It is Day Six. The sixth day of Nora feeling sick and tired. Yesterday, the doctor confirmed my suspicion. Her cold had manifested during the week into double ear infections. She has now sipped three doses of electric pink bubblegum-flavored antibiotics...to no avail. The moaning, clinginess, exhaustion, and nursing continue. She still refuses all other food, any other comfort.
***Remind me with the next baby to PLEASE teach the little one to take comfort at night with Daddy, too. Being the sole provider of night-owl pats, hugs, and rocking...night after night...for hours and hours...while the other parents snoozes...leads to a tinge of resentment during the day. Granted, I am JUST as responsible for creating this inbalance...but it's not the best set-up.
Even my mom's butternut squash soup, corn bread from scratch smeared with butter, and warm apple-oatmeal crisp couldn't entice Noodle to eat. It's only All-Boob-All-the-Time.
But maybe I'm losing weight! Hey, now that's a positive.
So, what does a family do on a marvelous three day weekend with a sick baby (after we've canceled all our fun plans)? We pull out the sofa bed, pile up the pillows, and play a game of "Round and Round" with the little snot-faced cutie.
You have to REALLY love Budda-Bee-Bee to watch this video. But I think it's great. She also said TWO more German words today..."Tschuess" and "Nase." You can hear her little "Bye" and "Tschuess" (German for "bye"), if you listen closely. Note her clasping her hands casually behind her back as she wanders around the corner. Love that. Again, this video will bore 99.99999% of you.
(Keep in mind this is also my 6th day in the house, I've finished a novel, burned my eyes on facebook, Words with Friends, the newspaper, and knitted half a hat for Lulu Bell. Videotaping the mundane is a wecome relief.)
Nora is at the tail end of her first cold. She had sniffles months ago and one horrible six-hour stomach bug at 4 months old...but nothing like this. She fights to breath through her stuffed nose. Moans in her crib - half-asleep - but irritated at the obstructions. And she's teething...or maybe it is all just teething-related and not a cold at all. I haven't found anyone who can tell me for sure which is which. And, I suppose, it doesn't even matter.
Since Monday morning, she is my super-shadow. Choosing 10+ nursing sessions a day and night, in lieu of food. Signing "nurse" over and over with glazed eyes, dripping red nose, and crusty eyes. It's a sight to be seen. My heart breaks that she's not feeling well...and my own body is starting to feel the drag of caring for her throughout the night...but the extra cuddling time from my typical non-cuddler has been a nice side-effect. Sleep training is out the window now that she's sick.
And it's a lonely road. Makes me realize just how much we both get out of our social outings. Monday was to be a bike ride along the beach, yesterday was painting with pudding at the park, and today was to be a playdate...instead, we bundle up and take walks in the fresh air around the neighborhood. Dipping into the coffee shop for a hot tea to-go. Strolling through the neighborhood, pointing out the falling leaves, and trying not to interact with anyone and spread her germs.
Oh, and the construction continues. The 2.5 week adventure of construction crews and landscapers being in our back yard for hours each day is coming to an end. The hammers, buzz saws, door slamming, the contractor's terrier, Minnie, constant yipping, the deck sealing fumes, the chain saws, the crew men yelling back and forth, the blocked parking space, the interruption of 75% of ALL NAPS for TWO AND A HALF weeks is almost finished.
For instance, right now, the truck doors are slamming, the dog is barking, and Nora has started to moan. She's been asleep for only 10 minutes! Grrrrr...says the Mama Bear.
Nevertheless, we have managed to have a good time. I set out my first "sensory invitation." Three bowls filled with things to touch, scoop, dump, and mix. Bow-tie pasta, penne pasta, and brown rice. Nora loved it.
For three days now, she's reached for the bowls on the counter and we set them all down on the floor and she goes to town. Always putting some treasures in my shoes, mixing them all together, and her favorite activity -- dumping.
I had to take a deep breath before letting her play. I knew there would be a mess. I knew I would find rice grains and pasta crunched between my toes for weeks to come...but childhood should be a bit messy. And if we had a fenced yard (which we SOON will), I would do this type of thing outside. It occupies her for 20 minutes...which is spectacular! She wants me near but can do her own thing for a few minutes before needing some interaction.
This website has inspired me in incredible ways. Each day I visit them to:
A. feel a twinge of laziness and guilt
B. get inspired to find something simple to spark Nora's mind for the day
***And they've done it...AGAIN. For the 88th time, the contractor has slammed his door and his menacing slime-dog is barking... waking Nora from her nap. Awesome!
This is the type of day when I fantasize about my nanny who shows up at my door right at 4:30pm and says, "Even though Nora has a cold, let me take her on an afternoon stroll and give you a little break. I've poured you a glass of chilled sweet wine and placed it by your book on the nightstand. We'll be back in an hour to tidy up the house and prepare dinner. "
Oh, Daniel's arrival at 6pm and 30 minutes of help before bedtime is a long, long, long way off.
And editing this post is not going to happen. Grammar and spelling be damned...
Parenting has been a challenge this week. Or to be more specific, being a patient parent has been a challenge. Remaining calm in the light of Nora's new fierce fits (since almost anything can make the tears roll and the screaming begin) is my goal. Each day is colored by sweet moments (cuddles, kisses, new words, fun adventures) and dancing through the minefield of tantrums.
I try and remember all the advice from books, articles, online, friends, and family...but in the heat of the moment, when it's her 48th fit of the day, and it's only 11:00am, I falter at times with my grace and soothing words. My voice tightens, my tone harsh, my words stern. And then I apologize, embrace, and sing...(or drive directly to my moms).
In the battle of the screaming toddler vs. the exasperated parent, the victor is already decided. I appreciate all the parents with older children who have been honest about their own struggles, sincere in their sympathy, and reassuring that there are only 12-18 months more of tantrums. *Cocktails, anyone?
This morning's "getting dressed" video is shared with love, patience, and friendship with all the parents of toddlers in the world, especially Claire, who should be next to me right now drinking a giant glass of wine.
My Grandma Lola's sister, Kate, is also in town. Can there be more gorgeous octogenarians?
Her special visit meant a family gathering at my mom's...topped off with pita. Three varieties of buttery sweet pita.
And rides on trains.
And some tears mixed in.
But love (and food) were abundant.
A weekend that ended on the sweet note of Ruby's entry into toddlerhood. Hmmm...I see a pattern with these toddlers.
"Life is a bowl of cherries." Or, at least, if you have Carrie for a mom.
For at the end of the day, if your name has been glued in a mosaic of candy and beans, you know that there will be oodles of hugs and shoulders to help ease the waves of tears.
And lastly, to show off Lulu Bell's fabulous German comprehension, is a very different type of morning chat. She even said her first German word today, "Nein," of course. But I'll take it. She says, "Nein, nein, nein," all the time and she isn't mocking Hermain Cain.
I can't help myself. One last lion picture (by Mark, a "Mommy & Me" friend's husband, and fabulous professional photographer). How lucky are we?
Every one of those whiskers, by the way, came with a fierce and loud shout. But worth it!
The best Halloween EVER!
And here's the merry gang of Halloween mamas. Celebrating on a gorgeous day in Seal Beach.
**Stay tuned for the cruel irony...after painting on her brown nose to her great irritation, she created her own bruised and scraped nose after falling down at the park. Her first official injury. A photo is to come...but the little lass is sleeping.
Nora attended her first Harvest Moon Festival yesterday. We packed up raisins, bananas, crackers, pears, apples, water, diapers, and picnic blankets and set out for the old ranch house nestled into the gated community near the college. We walked in as the drum circle was in full swing.
Nora was mesmerized...she couldn't be bothered to drum or shake gourds or talk to her little chums...she just stared. Bobbed up and down occasionally...and stood fixated. Drums might just be her instrument.
After the trance of drum circle, it was time to finger bumpy gourds, hay bales, bamboo trunks, and giant tree trunks.
And, of course, the lion costume came back out. You can't miss any opportunity to dress up with such a fantastic shiny jungle cat outfit at your disposal.
Here's the menacing shadow of one Ms. Lulu Bell.
Dancing to Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, and Beach Boys covers...mixing with leather-skinned women donning skeleton earrings and skirts far too short for their wise years. I even got a view of the orange underwear of a grandmother who enjoyed dancing with Noodle.
I have started to feel very connected to some of my "Mommy & Me" friends...certainly, most of us only share a common birth month of our children, and teething advice and conundrums about tantrum throwing; however, a few are falling gently into friends-beyond-motherhood category. Last night, as I sipped white sangria and scraped the side of an oreo mud pie with Margie, it struck me just how magnificent it is to once again have girlfriends close by...with whom to share my musings, my worries, and my hopes.
As much as I still miss my friends caught in LA, the geography of this So Cal urban sprawl causes distance far more than the mere 28 miles on a map. There are job schedules, day care, missed time with husbands, freeways, traffic, naps, and errands to contend with. These 28 miles turn into an hour drive each way...and since Nora still screams bloody murder during car rides, this keeps me bubbled in my beloved Long Beach...thinking of my old friends...and gratefully making new ones.
**Just in case you need reminding, Nora is now dispensing post-it flags. Helpful little bugger, no?
